"Grace, not perfection."

A few years ago, I read this quote and it stuck with me. This week, I felt the need to handwrite it and paint.

I am trying the best I can to be the best I can be. Sometimes my own head and body get in the way. I can't churn out artwork as frequently as some artists I follow. I'm still new to learning business and I'm constantly trying to absorb more information about it. I'm still learning how to balance art and business. I'm still trying to set up a lifestyle that works for me, day-to-day. I have days where I just need to zone out and do nothing. I'm constantly afraid of my past anxiety taking over with full force again if I push myself too hard. I'm still figuring out how I want my business and my internet presence to be, because I'm in introvert and I simply cannot post something everyday; I have a need to reflect and be deliberate with what I share. I juggle my art business and life and my part-time babysitting jobs. I know that's how my life will continue to be, so I'm doing the absolute best I can sanely do to establish habits and a workflow that work for me.

I find myself often feeling like I'm not doing enough, despite constantly checking things off my to-do list. I guess I have high standards and hopes for myself. I've always been a little overly ambitious but a little bit lazy. I know I'm capable, so I strive for perfection. I always have. And sometimes that's good- it's motivating. But sometimes it's horrible for my emotional well-being. Nothing is perfect. Perfection is something people perceive from the outside, and the person who created it or the person living in it never believes it's perfect.

So I'm always making an effort to focus on the gracefulness of what I'm doing. Am I creating pieces I love? Am I doing the best I can? Am I presenting a message and a presence I want to present to the world? Am I being deliberate and cohesive and consistent? Am I presenting my work gently and gracefully, not abrasively and desperately? I am working within myself to do things with grace (not in a religious way, but in a refined, gentle, smooth way). I will strive to create work & a life that I'm proud of, and I will strive to be graceful in my actions in all areas of my life. I will always do the best I can, and try to accept that it will rarely be perfect in my eyes.

Whomever is reading this, please never hesitate to share any thoughts with me. I'd love to know what you're thinking :)

xo, Michelle

P.S. Forgot to announce that I re-designed my website quite a bit. Go see the new layout and some new content: www.maryandluna.com

always thankful. all 365 days.

The other night, I let my paintbrush lead me and this is what I made. I let my heart write for me and this is what I feel.

When I think about all the things I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving, I think about this: I'm always thankful. I'm always aware of this beautiful life. Even when it is really hard. I never waste it. I soak up every baby giggle and perfect breeze and cup of tea. I memorize fleeting moments and I allow myself the time to reflect on and process my incredible experiences. I'm always doing the best I can to love each day and the people in it.

So for me, this is simply a day to be with family & a day to acknowledge all the gratitude I feel all year. (I don't really get that excited about the food; gluten-free vegetarian Thanksgiving is anti-climactic. But I do love mashed potatoes & I make a yummy dessert).

I hope you have a very sweet holiday.
xo, Michelle

Apparently it's November already.

It feels like this year has gone by so much faster than any year before it. I feel like I'm constantly playing catch up. I had my 2nd art show!

I participated in the monthly Santa Ana Art Walk on November 2nd. I did the September one too, and it was a great experience. This month was much different. Last time, so many friends came and bought things, it was busy the whole time. This time, I was less busy and got to talk to a lot of the other artists around me. While I didn't sell much, a few people really loved my work and hopefully will visit my Etsy shop. I figure it's still a good thing for me to get out there and have my work seen.

The artist next to me has been doing art professionally for a long time, and she was talking to me about how if you get discouraged, you just have to remember that everyday your work is being seen. By the people who have bought from you, by the people who see it in their homes, and by the people who are seeing it online, whether you hear about it or not. You just have to keep doing it. That was so helpful and encouraging to me.

Family pumpkin painting:

My parents, sisters, and I started a new tradition a few years ago of painting/carving pumpkins together. One year we did a Harry  Potter theme. This year we did a Big Bang Theory theme but we painted them as minions from Despicable Me. (We're big fans of both). My character is Penny on the far right. Kelly's is Howard, Lisa's is Raj, Mom's is Sheldon, Dad's is Leonard, and then my dad & I made the carved atom logo pumpkin.

I also painted this lovely literary quote by Andrea Gibson onto a huge white pumpkin:

Now I'm onto my next tasks! I have a custom painting in the works, I'm doing a holiday boutique at my dad & sister's office later this month, and I've got a whole bunch of administrative tasks to catch up on! I lost a couple days being sick, so I'm trying to get going again!

xo, Michelle

Fall is about letting go.

I cut out these words from the leaves I collected and pressed. It was a simple truth that flowed from my hands.

I watch how effortlessly trees let go of their leaves, and I wish I could do that so gracefully. Letting go is so hard. Letting go of unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, the way things used to be. It’s all a constant work in progress. But I’m realizing how much lighter I feel when I decide to let go of heavy things. Life gets a little bit easier that way.

I've been thinking about this lately, but this post came from my decision to cut about 6 inches of my hair today. It’s a small and silly thing to be so influenced by, but I’ve had my hair really long for 5 years: the 5 most turbulent years of my life so far, the first 5 years of my adulthood. I needed a change, and it’s amazing how much lighter I feel. I grew very attached to my long, wavy hair, but I need something different for a while now. It’s like a new start. So I’m letting it go, and I’m letting go of some of the deeper things that are heavy. The things that make me hesitate to keep going and keep creating. I need to let those things go.

I hope you can let go too.

xo, Michelle

a title-less post, I guess.

This is all I have to share today because my brain is full of details for current & upcoming projects. My favorite season is becoming the busiest season! Here's a quote from one of my favorite books (+ a photo of me in the mountains at one of my favorite childhood spots about a week ago). This quote helps me when I try to understand absolutely everything. Now I'm off to sketch & design new pieces!

xo, Michelle

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